Short answer: a stag and doe is a party held a few months before a wedding to raise money for the engaged couple. Guests buy a ticket, play games, bid on prizes and dance, and what the night raises goes toward the wedding. It is an Ontario tradition, also called a buck and doe or a jack and jill. In Manitoba the same party is called a social.
What happens at a stag and doe
Most are on a Saturday night in a rented hall: a Legion, a community centre, an arena hall or a banquet room (here are halls in St. Catharines and Niagara and in Hamilton). The night usually runs like this:
- Doors open at 7 or 8, and tickets are collected at the door.
- Games run around the room: cornhole, beer pong, a ring toss, couple trivia. Here are 18 stag and doe games.
- A prize table or silent auction shows off donated prizes. See prize ideas and how to ask for donations.
- A DJ keeps the dance floor going between games.
- A late lunch comes out around 10:30: buns, cold cuts, cheese and pickles.
- The couple thank everyone on the mic before the last song.
Where the name comes from
“Stag” has meant a men-only party for a long time. The Dictionary of Canadian English on Historical Principles says “doe” was most likely added to match it, labels “stag and doe” an Ontario term, and gives its earliest example from 1986: a stag and doe for a couple in Barry's Bay. The same entry notes that the jack and jill started as a co-ed alternative to the separate stag and shower, and grew into a fundraiser with an admission charge.
Stag and doe, buck and doe, jack and jill: one party, many names
- Southern Ontario: stag and doe, or buck and doe.
- Manitoba: a social, or wedding social.
- Elsewhere: jack and jill, and sometimes stag and drag.
Wikipedia says the party is most popular in Manitoba, Northern Ontario and rural Southern Ontario. Whatever it is called, it is co-ed and it charges admission.
How it differs from a bachelor party, a shower and an engagement party
- Bachelor or bachelorette party (stag or stagette): close friends only, usually split by side. A night out for the couple, not a fundraiser.
- Shower: guests bring gifts for the home or the wedding. Usually smaller, and often in the afternoon.
- Engagement party: a celebration hosted for the couple, usually with no tickets. Here are some engagement party ideas.
- Stag and doe: an open guest list, tickets and games, and money toward the wedding.
Plenty of couples have a shower and a stag and doe. One does not replace the other.
Who hosts a stag and doe?
Usually the wedding party, sometimes with the parents. WeddingWire says the wedding party handles it so it is not extra work for the couple, though some couples host their own. It goes smoothest when the jobs are split: one person books the hall, one runs tickets, one collects prizes, one sets up the games and one looks after the cash box.
When to have a stag and doe
Two to four months before the wedding is typical. WeddingWire says at least two months out, on a date that does not clash with the bachelor or bachelorette party or the shower. Spring and summer Saturdays go first, so book the hall early.
Who gets invited
Far more people than the wedding: coworkers, neighbours, teammates and the parents' friends. WeddingWire notes that not everyone at the stag and doe needs a wedding invitation, especially when the wedding is small. Guests know this. A stag and doe ticket is not a wedding invitation.
What to wear to a stag and doe
Casual. It is a hall party with games and dancing, so jeans or trousers with a nice top, or a casual dress, and shoes you can stand in all night. If the ticket mentions a theme (a decade night, or costumes for a late October date), dress for it. The couple can dress up a notch, or wear matching shirts so guests can find them.
Do you bring a gift?
No gift is expected. The ticket, and whatever you spend on games and prizes, is the contribution. A card with a note is a kind touch. Save the gift for the shower or the wedding.
How much is a stag and doe ticket?
WeddingWire suggests $10 to $15 at the door, about a bar cover, with game tickets at $1 to $2. Our stag and doe ticket guide covers wording, pricing and selling, and has a free printable ticket template with numbered stubs. If there is a bar or a draw, read what Ontario says about raffles and drinks before you set the price.
A photo booth at a stag and doe
A booth gives the crowd one thing to do that costs them nothing. Guests grab props between games and leave with a print carrying the couple's names and the wedding date. A self-serve booth runs on its own until 11pm, with free delivery anywhere from Mississauga to Fort Erie. Snap is $449; Snap & Print is $549 with unlimited prints. See stag and doe photo booths or check your date.
Quick answers
Is a stag and doe the same as a bachelor party?
No. A bachelor or bachelorette party is a night out for close friends, split by side. A stag and doe is co-ed, open to a much wider guest list, and charges admission to raise money for the couple.
Do you have to be invited to the wedding to go to the stag and doe?
No. The stag and doe guest list is usually much bigger than the wedding list, and nobody should read a stag and doe ticket as a wedding invitation.
What do you wear to a stag and doe?
Casual clothes: jeans or trousers with a nice top, or a casual dress, and shoes you can stand and dance in. If the ticket mentions a theme, dress for it.
Do you bring a gift to a stag and doe?
No gift is expected. The ticket, and what you spend on games and prizes, is your contribution. A card with a note is a nice touch.
What is a stag and doe called in other provinces?
In Manitoba it is a social or wedding social. Elsewhere you will hear jack and jill or stag and drag. In Southern Ontario it is a stag and doe or a buck and doe. See Wikipedia's stag and doe entry.
Still have a question? See the photo booth FAQ, or browse booths for birthdays, proms and parties.